I am a lazy worthless greedy bitter woman who sits around on welfare and contributes to my sons' future delequency simply by having given birth to them. It is my fault to have had relationships with dishonorable men who went on the leave or be so outrageous that I left. They have no responsibility in the issue, they were obviously raised by single mothers and couldn't help but be terrible partners.
GOD I HATE CONSERVATIVE POLITICS IN THIS COUNTRY!
DO I make being a single parent sound like a good or desirable or pleasant thing? I enjoy my life. I love my sons. I expect my oldest to show responsibility because he's a big boy now. I do the best I can. But have I ever once said that I would prefer welfare to earing a living. HAve I not agonized over instilling decent values in them.
Lets get this straight. Women having sex isn't the cause of society's problems. Women choosing to give birth to children and then raise those children is in no way a threat to our society's values.
The problem is really two-fold. 1) WE look at the past through rose-colored glasses. People assume that when divorce rates were drastically lower, people were happier with each other. In fact, many women remained married to men who beat and raped them and were abusive to the children because the society they lived in told them that such a life was more honorable then to live as a single mother. Women also lived officially married with their husband's name still of the bank accounts and deed to the home after the worthless idiot had abandoned the family.
2) Our society has become more and more about pleasure seeking. As we have become more pleasure seeking, it has become more acceptable to spend time and resources that would have gone into the family on other things.
I live in the middle of conservative bible country and there are four major casinos within an hour drive from here. People don't have the money to go loose it at casinos every week. We spend money on entertainment that is only for one, not the whole family. We sit in separate rooms and stare at glowing boxes instead of playing with eachother. WE are programmed by movies and TV to think that we must be euphorically happy or something is wrong. Credit card companies tell us to go ahead and buy what ever we desire and we will be happy.
All this leads to people making choices based on what feels good now and on what they think will be fun for now. It isn't a system of desicion making that works well. It certainly didn't for me.
I think I was lucky in that I got involved in church and found something to base my life and values on other then pleasure seeking, although I am still guilty of a little of that (icecream anyone?).
I am not saying that women who end up alone and with kids don't have a certain amount of responsibility for their situation, it takes two to get pregnant. But why blame women who are working long hours, under a lot of stress and doing their best, for the problems of the entire culture? Why aren't consevatives aiming barbs at dead beat dads who think dropping a gift card in the mail at christmas and birthday time makes up for not being there to spend real time with their child? Why aren't they making sure that women who are raising children alone are getting a reasonable amount of child support from the absent parent?
I can't force shane to be a daddy to his sons. I try. Isaiah isn't stupid, he notices that his dad keeps moving further and further aways from him. So why is Ann COulter mad at me, while shane is some kind of hero because he is living with a woman who is a single mom herself and now he's "helping her out". What ever, its all bullshit.
The truth is that we all do the best we can. WE all have circumstances that we struggle with. And while no one is perfect, no one is entirely to blame either. And I wish some one would tell Ann that.
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